Brent just left for a work training and I sit here with teary eyes. I don't know why really...it's not like I'm scared, or sad or lonely. I mean, it's not like I've never been alone for a week, or away from my husband at night. I think it's just the "what ifs" that are creeping up on me tonight. Don't you hate the "what ifs"? When you let your mind wander to dark places, imagining in horrific detail every left-field scenario you could ever think of, until your worked-up to the point of panic and sobbing for no good reason. It typical happens to me late at night as I lay in bed, or just after I drop my kids off somewhere for a quick "run to the store," or sometimes just before a flight or faraway trip. But tonight it happened at the dining room table following a long sweet kiss. Listening to his car pull away my mind swirled and I thought... "what would I ever do without him?" I don't often mention my feelings for my husband as I feel that they're private, but I will say this... I love Brent. He's simply the most genuine, sweet, selfless person I know. This evening he gave each of us priesthood blessings of safety and comfort, and as I watched him with our children my heart was full.
I don't know why he picked me, but I thank my lucky stars that he did.
11 comments:
you're on a roll with the blog posting - 3 in 4 days!
i think about the what ifs about life without dave sometimes and feel like he so much the perfect husband for me that i must be bound to experience life without him at some point because life this good always seems too good to be true. i truly think i would not be able to function in the world (or even be a productive member of society) without him. it is SOOOOOOO comforting to know that no matter what we are sealed by the power of the priesthood together FOREVER! but still life insurance and wills don't hurt.
sorry i know that is a morbid last note, but hey those are my thoughts.
p.s. - we're always just a phone call away if you need ANYTHING while Brent's gone ;-)
love this post. know those feelings. but i think brent hit the jackpot with you, too. :) don't get too sad, little girl. love you mucho.
I'm here if you need me! JUST CALL!
i get the what ifs all the time... i dont like them either. they make me sad... really sad. so i like to think about the good what ifs -- what if tanner makes a million dollars this year.. lol :)
We went through exactly that 2 weeks ago when Chaden went to the Dominican Republic for 8 days--not fun! You are a lucky girl & your family is so lucky & blessed to have you too! I still love reading all your posts, they bring out the words I have but can't express them the way you do! You're amazing!!!
I like to call it the bogie man. He always comes out at night and keeps me up stressing over thing i wouldnt stress over durning the day. Try not to let him take over your night instead enjoy this time with your kids. Why did Brent pick you because your a fabulous thats why. I hope the week goes by quick call me anytime
Love ya and miss ya
mel
We think so much alike! Brent chose you because he saw what a wonderful woman you are, and he saw even further to know that you would be an amazing mother to your children! You are a perfect match:) Jen
Oh the dreaded what if's...I hear ya!
I hope you get to feeling better soon, dear. Those can be some of the worst thoughts in the world.
Hey, just look forward to the warm and welcome reunion when he returns...really, there's NOTHING better ;)
much love, smooches
me
stopping by to give you some love. mostly to tell you that i need another blog post from you already. and also to say your comment on my haiku post was stellar, STELLAR genius. :) you know i love ya. xoxo.
and also, rachel's wedding pics - how much did you love those holga pics?? crazy beautiful for a toy camera. seriously. and also, how long does it take jon to post her real pics already?? it's been like a month. killing me.
awwww.... DUANNNAA DON'T BE A SAD GURL!!!! (ha, made ya smile, well you can always give me a call, and about 20 other people from the looks of the comments) love you!
Justin
ps first time i've blogged in about a year
Post a Comment